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Desert Queens

October 3rd, 2006 by Double Tap

Before I go into this post, a little acronym lesson. A “FOB” is a Forward Operating Base. That’s basically a generic term to describe whatever Coalition base in Iraq you are talking about. That may not be what it’s actually called, but it’s the generic term nevertheless - mostly because they change the names of these places regularly. For example, you might say you live on FOB Anaconda, when actually Anaconda is more properly known as LSA Anaconda. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, on to todays subject matter…

An interesting phenomenon in Iraq is something we call a “Desert Queen”. A Desert Queen is a young female soldier, generally private or specialist in the Army/Marines/Air Force, who back in the great Post Exchange known as the United States, was the mousy wallflower who rarely had any dates and was considered, at best, “plain”. She joined the military because, let’s face it, she wasn’t going to work as a model.

However in Iraq, where the single male-to-single female ratio is about 10-to-1, and where everyone is basically not getting any attention from a member of the opposite sex for a year, that aforementioned wallflower is suddenly transformed into (trumpet flourish) Desert Queen!

That shy, unassuming, sweet young girl is now the hottest thing going this side of the Euphrates! Young males flock to her side, hoping she’ll take notice of them out of the crowd of other young males vying for some away-from-home affection. Naturally, she enjoys all this attention, and some young female soldiers let it get into their heads that they are now the most desirable things on the FOB. Of course, when she gets back to the States, it all changes - but she has a good time being a beauty queen for about a year.

When one of my young male soldiers starts gushing on about how “fine” or “hot” some female is, I go into my older, wiser, (and married) mode and ask, “Is she hot, or is she just FOB hot?” About this time his expression turns to mush as he realizes the truth of the matter and he limply replies, “FOB hot.”

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