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Eating out, Arabic style

October 21st, 2006 by Double Tap

I told you in a previous post about going to a nearby village and eating at the local big-wig’s home. Since I was outside performing security the whole time, I didn’t get to see all the customs and courtesies that went with the ritual that is a dinner. However, I’ve heard enough about these events to know a little about how they happen - all very different from what I’m used to in the United States.

Below is a portion from a post by The Religious Policeman, that describes a typical Arabic meal - if you were an Arab, visiting with your wife. He was originally talking about how Arab women are kept cloistered in their homes, but it also provides an interesting look at Arab etiquette.

Husband will open the door and welcome you. There may well be an incense burner in the doorway, as a mark of greeting. Waft the smoke over your hair and clothes. Remove your shoes (best to come in sandals).

Husband will lead your wife to a back room. That is all you are going to see of her, all evening.

Coffee or tea, and dates, will be ready on a table. You sit down (better on the floor), drink, eat, talk “guy talk”. You may hear sounds of movement and rustlings from the next room.

At a certain point, husband will lead you thru to the next room where, miraculously, food will be laid out. The dishes are probably set out on a plastic sheet on the carpet. Nothing, and I am being absolutely serious here, beats eating in a reclining position, perhaps leaning on a decorative camel saddle, with the food at floor level, and using your hand (right, not left, but don’t ask why) to eat.

There will be enough to feed a small army. Arab hospitality demands that guests should never leave hungry. When you see all those dishes for just the two of you, including one with several small roast chickens, do not make the foolish assumption that this is the main course. PACE YOURSELF.

When you have assured your host that you have eaten all that you can manage from what is before you, he will remove many dishes. However he will return and replace them with an even larger selection of larger dishes. Carry on eating. Aren’t you glad you are lying down? (It allows the stomach to distend more easily).

When you have eventually finished (NB If you are the “BellyBuster” champion at your local restaurant’s “All you can eat Prime Rib Night”, don’t try and eat everything, they will only bring out more, so that you won’t leave hungry) , you get up as best you can, and repair to the room you originally started out in, where miraculously fresh coffee will have appeared. Resume the horizontal once more. More “guy talk”. There will be more sounds of rustling from next door.

As the evening draws to a close, husband will leave you and return from the back room with your wife. Say your farewells, put your shoes on, waft the incense, and out you go. Your wife will then inform you that your host also has a wife, who did all the cooking, and laid out and removed plates for the menfolk, not to mention coffee, as well as doing the same for herself and your wife. And you thought it was just a miracle.

[There is a slight variation to this routine, if the guests are male relatives of the husband. In that case the wife may emerge to pour coffee, but she will have a cloth draped over her head (rather like the cloth you would cover your parrot cage with, to shut it up) . Not that she's going to say anything, of course, she will just pour the coffee; the cloth is thin enough to allow her to see the spout and the cups, without curious male relatives being able to see her face].

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